By the time many people notice the obvious red flags, they're already attached to an abuser, which makes it much harder for them to leave the relationship.
More useful than a list of obvious red flags are guidelines based onof a potentially abusive relationship, signs that are visible before an attachment bond is formed.
And until you see the truth for yourself, no one else can help you realize it. It’s been said that if you drop a frog in boiling water, it would jump out immediately.
But if you place a frog in a pot of tepid water and start to boil the water very slowly, the frog would continue to stay in the pot of water until it boils to death.
Now this may be a metaphor to prove a cautionary tale about change and our inability to see the signs.
But this story plays a big part in understanding your own relationship.
Special care is necessary here, as blamers can be really seductive in dating.They’ve lost what they thought was love before and you seem too good to be true, so they’ll cling.Some do, some don’t but the ones who do want to talk about their pain so you get it, really get it, understand it and know to not do what they’ve al ready experienced. They have ulterior motives for sharing their pain with you. They couldn’t care less about most of your idiosyncrasies.Sadly, too many of us have suffered some form of abuse either in relationships or during our childhood.Surprisingly, some are not even aware that the way they are currently being treated is considered abusive.